Easter 2013

table set for coffee

Easter bunny came to Germany

This Easter was only the 2nd time I've been away from my parents to celebrate the holiday.  But I was able to spend the weekend with my cousin Jeanette and her family, and it was so much fun!  Well, technically Sunday morning wasn't very fun, because I got sick in the middle of church and had to leave after the sermon.  Thankfully, Jeanette was able to take me home and give me some aspirin to help.  Usually I don't take aspirin ever...but desperate times call for desperate measures.  By the afternoon I was feeling much better.  Jeanette had a whole house full of people come over for coffee and cake in the afternoon: her mother, friend, brother, sister-in-law, plus all of us who were already there, so we totaled 9 together.  She baked two delicious cakes, one apricot and one cheesecake.  I enjoyed several hours of conversation with all of them, which consisted of me mostly listening and trying to understand what was going on.  I think I caught most of it, and I definitely learned some new words!  It was really sad to have to leave Jeanette's house.  It seemed like the weekend went by way too fast.  I spent so much time there in the fall, that a couple of days seemed like nothing.  I hope that I'll get a chance to visit them again soon.

But right now everything seems up in the air.  I feel like I have no direction.  Yes, I've applied for a couple of graduate schools and I'm going to have some voice lessons with the teacher in Würzburg.  But I feel very ungrounded and I'm not sure how to proceed.  Although I have friends all over Germany, I don't have an established group of friends or someone to hang out with on a regular basis.  I don't have a church, and I don't even know what city I will end up living in long-term.  Right now I'm just a lonely wandering nomad, and this is not the lifestyle for me.  To be honest, I just want to go back home to my parents house.  But I have to force myself to stay here and find out what's going to happen.  That's the hard part...not knowing.  I have to find out what will happen before I go home.  Remember when I first came to Germany last fall and I was working on the farm?  I was so lonely and I called my mom everyday and cried.  That's where I'm at right now again.  I thought things would be different this time, but here I am again in the pit of despair.